Things As They Are and As They Should Be

There is a familiar song that says, "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got!" I have never been one who could live by that motto.

I am forever looking for ways to change my surroundings. I get bored with the same old furniture, the same old decorations, the same old pictures, pillows, throws and rugs.

Even more discouraging is the fact that day after day I am overwhelmed by the same old dirt - dust bunnies on the stairs, sticky goo on the kitchen floor, grass from cleats, stacks of backpacks, piles of shoes, electrical chargers and computers left in chairs, on floors and on beds, and mountains of laundry.

I can't even face the mess that is found in the bathrooms - make-up on the counter, toothpaste in the sink, Q-tips, hair elastics, bobby pins and scraps of pre-wrap on the back of the toilet. It is my world within the four walls of my own home. I try not to let the "stuff" take over the house. But, frankly, I am out-numbered. I can only "shovel" so fast.

It is probably for this reason that each Friday when I go to the temple, I have the urge to ask if I can just move in! I love a sense of order.

Everything in it's place. No dust, no dirt, no one's stuff lying around. Not to mention the pure pleasure of quiet solitude.

Clearly, there is no way I can stay at the temple permanently. So, usually I find myself back at home for a good Friday filled with cleaning.

It is certainly no secret that I hate the winter! Actually, it is not the winter itself that I hate. It is the cold! I know that as soon as the temperature drops, I will spend the next several months never feeling warm.

The first cool fall mornings put me into a complete tailspin. However, along with the crispness of the air and the chill of the frosty ground, comes the opportunity for a welcome change of surroundings.

I love to pull out the fall decorations. I get excited to refill the candy jars with caramels and candy corn.

I relish the idea of scattering decorative acorns around the house.

Even more refreshing is the opportunity to clean out the flower beds and pile up the pumpkins in the wheel barrel near the front door.

After a good Friday cleaning, I can actually walk through the front door and breath in the fresh scent of Pine-sol and feel happy. I like my house when it is clean.

I love knowing the blinds have been dusted and the tables have been shined. Life is good when the carpets are vacuumed and the hardwood floors are mopped. Steaming the bathrooms makes me feel like I have actually accomplished something, even though the effects are short-lived. And, perhaps most fulfilling of all is the thought that all of the stacks of clothes are not visible. There are those rare and fleeting moments when things around the house are actually "as they should be."

"Goin' to the chapel and we're going to get Married!"

Our refrigerator has been covered with wedding announcements for most of the summer. The majority of those invitations have been friends of Haley's. She has been a part of the weddings of two of her best friends.

There have been a range of emotions surrounding the two events. There have been tears of joy and painful concerns. But, most of all, there have been moments of quiet acceptance and loving support.

It has been fun to be involved in all the excitement of planning and preparing, followed by the excitement of executing and sharing. I think Haley has learned by experience just what she wants her future wedding to be. I know when it happens that all the right things will be in place.

I have teased her that she has started her collection of "21 Dresses." I have even made comments like, "always the bride's maid and never the bride." What I have not told her is that I am so proud of the path that her life is taking.

I remember being her age. I recall watching friends get married by the dozens. I am sure that, on occasion, I wondered if there was something wrong with me. I always dated. I never was interested in getting married when I was young. I wanted to get an education and have a career. I wasn't anxious to have babies or raise a family.

Haley is an amazing person. She has talents and abilities that you only get to see if you know her very well. I watched her at one of Kalinee's soccer games the other day. Mind you, I have known Haley her entire life, and still she surprises me. She was casually lying on the grass just watching the game when the two children of Kalinee's coach came running by. Watching Haley engage children is like magic. She doesn't even have to try - they instantly LOVE her.

Within seconds, the little girl was lying on the blanket mimicking Haley's every move, whispering secrets in her ear, and conversing with her like a long-time friend. The little boy was energetically vying for Haley's attention. "Take a picture of me." "Let's jump together." " Put this doggie on your head."

The greatest thing about watching Haley right now is seeing how many things she wants to experience in life. She wants to go to Italy. She is dying to return to Africa. She is considering going back east and even talks about internships and work opportunities. There are so many options in life. One day, the most important option will be to get married.

Right now, however, she is having a great time. A new student at the University of Utah, a wild member of the MUSS, an involved sorority sister and a loyal friend and confidant, Haley is certainly making the most of her single years.