Things As They Are and As They Should Be

There is a familiar song that says, "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got!" I have never been one who could live by that motto.

I am forever looking for ways to change my surroundings. I get bored with the same old furniture, the same old decorations, the same old pictures, pillows, throws and rugs.

Even more discouraging is the fact that day after day I am overwhelmed by the same old dirt - dust bunnies on the stairs, sticky goo on the kitchen floor, grass from cleats, stacks of backpacks, piles of shoes, electrical chargers and computers left in chairs, on floors and on beds, and mountains of laundry.

I can't even face the mess that is found in the bathrooms - make-up on the counter, toothpaste in the sink, Q-tips, hair elastics, bobby pins and scraps of pre-wrap on the back of the toilet. It is my world within the four walls of my own home. I try not to let the "stuff" take over the house. But, frankly, I am out-numbered. I can only "shovel" so fast.

It is probably for this reason that each Friday when I go to the temple, I have the urge to ask if I can just move in! I love a sense of order.

Everything in it's place. No dust, no dirt, no one's stuff lying around. Not to mention the pure pleasure of quiet solitude.

Clearly, there is no way I can stay at the temple permanently. So, usually I find myself back at home for a good Friday filled with cleaning.

It is certainly no secret that I hate the winter! Actually, it is not the winter itself that I hate. It is the cold! I know that as soon as the temperature drops, I will spend the next several months never feeling warm.

The first cool fall mornings put me into a complete tailspin. However, along with the crispness of the air and the chill of the frosty ground, comes the opportunity for a welcome change of surroundings.

I love to pull out the fall decorations. I get excited to refill the candy jars with caramels and candy corn.

I relish the idea of scattering decorative acorns around the house.

Even more refreshing is the opportunity to clean out the flower beds and pile up the pumpkins in the wheel barrel near the front door.

After a good Friday cleaning, I can actually walk through the front door and breath in the fresh scent of Pine-sol and feel happy. I like my house when it is clean.

I love knowing the blinds have been dusted and the tables have been shined. Life is good when the carpets are vacuumed and the hardwood floors are mopped. Steaming the bathrooms makes me feel like I have actually accomplished something, even though the effects are short-lived. And, perhaps most fulfilling of all is the thought that all of the stacks of clothes are not visible. There are those rare and fleeting moments when things around the house are actually "as they should be."

"Goin' to the chapel and we're going to get Married!"

Our refrigerator has been covered with wedding announcements for most of the summer. The majority of those invitations have been friends of Haley's. She has been a part of the weddings of two of her best friends.

There have been a range of emotions surrounding the two events. There have been tears of joy and painful concerns. But, most of all, there have been moments of quiet acceptance and loving support.

It has been fun to be involved in all the excitement of planning and preparing, followed by the excitement of executing and sharing. I think Haley has learned by experience just what she wants her future wedding to be. I know when it happens that all the right things will be in place.

I have teased her that she has started her collection of "21 Dresses." I have even made comments like, "always the bride's maid and never the bride." What I have not told her is that I am so proud of the path that her life is taking.

I remember being her age. I recall watching friends get married by the dozens. I am sure that, on occasion, I wondered if there was something wrong with me. I always dated. I never was interested in getting married when I was young. I wanted to get an education and have a career. I wasn't anxious to have babies or raise a family.

Haley is an amazing person. She has talents and abilities that you only get to see if you know her very well. I watched her at one of Kalinee's soccer games the other day. Mind you, I have known Haley her entire life, and still she surprises me. She was casually lying on the grass just watching the game when the two children of Kalinee's coach came running by. Watching Haley engage children is like magic. She doesn't even have to try - they instantly LOVE her.

Within seconds, the little girl was lying on the blanket mimicking Haley's every move, whispering secrets in her ear, and conversing with her like a long-time friend. The little boy was energetically vying for Haley's attention. "Take a picture of me." "Let's jump together." " Put this doggie on your head."

The greatest thing about watching Haley right now is seeing how many things she wants to experience in life. She wants to go to Italy. She is dying to return to Africa. She is considering going back east and even talks about internships and work opportunities. There are so many options in life. One day, the most important option will be to get married.

Right now, however, she is having a great time. A new student at the University of Utah, a wild member of the MUSS, an involved sorority sister and a loyal friend and confidant, Haley is certainly making the most of her single years.

The Sweetest Things

There are lots of great and momentous events in life - some are events of inexpressible joy, while others are instances of quiet inspiration and personal realization. But the sweetest moments in life are the times when we catch a glimpse of what this life is really all about. Every once in a while, not nearly often enough, we are privileged to see our eternal purpose, experience our divine possibilities and feel the impact of an all-knowing Father's perfect plan. These are the sweetest times in life.

Sometimes the spirit whispers truths to our soul that bring us clarity and joy. I believe that such was the case just a few weeks ago when Chandler felt compelled (beyond all reasonable common sense) to drive back to his mission in Minnesota. The 20 hour drive seemed daunting and the Hansen car situation left a lot to be desired in the area of reliability. The purpose of the trip, however, was to attend the sealing of a family he had baptized just before he returned home - and that made all the difference!

There aren't enough moments in this life when we can really see what is important. I believe that a loving Father wants us to catch a glimpse of the eternities, but the forces of this world are definitely against us. The few hours that Chandler spent in the Minneapolis St Paul temple on August 15 offered the opportunity to witness with complete clarity the eternal perspective of that loving Father. Those moments give whole new meaning to the phrase "we're all in this together." In answer to the question "Was it worth it?" Chandler quickly replied, "Yes. Now I know that they have everything they need to make it!"

I remember when I used to get so excited for the beginning of a new year. I have watched Kalinee experience those same feelings as she has prepared for her Sophomore year of High school. The possibilities were and are endless for her. A member of the soccer team, a new face at the school, a friend to many and a potential friend to all, Kalinee knows no limitations. She has been so excited about the prospect of playing on the varsity soccer team - and she has realized that dream.

There is nothing sweeter than seeing possibilities met. It is in those moments when I believe that we understand a little better our own divine potential. I am a firm believer that we can be magnified beyond our abilities by a loving Savior. It's another of those eternal truths that are just hard to remember while living in this world.

Achieving success after years of hard work is sweet. Yet, even sweeter, perhaps, is the feeling of finding satisfaction in trying something new. Teagan has wanted to play football for years. But every year as the registration date approached, he decided that he would play lacrosse with all of his friends. This year he finally took the big plunge and signed up to play football. The motivation may have been personal desire, or maybe it was the importance of keeping a promise to a friend. Whatever the reason, Teagan is experiencing the anticipation, fear, excitement and hesitation that comes with trying something new.

I watch him mentally prepare for the challenging games. It takes a lot of self-talk to step on a field of uncertainty. Where are the moments of confidence at the plate and cockiness with the lacrosse stick? Now, with great intimidation, Teagan steps onto the field, takes a deep breath and places his hands resolutely on his hips.

It reminds me of the kind of preparation we are all engaged in here. "...and let virtue garnish they thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God."

I like to make life tougher than it needs to be. Sometimes I forget to recognize how greatly blessed I am. Sometimes I struggle more than I need to because things aren't perfect. There are even moments when I feel sorry for myself. But when I take a minute to think about the sweetest things in life - times when I know what my purpose is. Those are the times when I am so grateful to be a mother. Those are the times when I know why I am surrounded by the strong, talented, smart people that I call my children.

Summer 2010

It's been a summer of . . .

flipping off platforms and scaling ridges,

swimming 'cross lakes and jumping off bridges.

shooting the tube and late nights with a fire,

floating downstream on an inflated tire.

a drive down to Mona to swing 'cross a lake,

long scooter rides and barbecued steaks.

skating and biking, hiking and boating,

going to concerts and business promoting

trips across the world to far away places,

tearful good-byes and heartfelt embraces.

hanging with friends, soccer practice each day,

air soft wars in the yard and playing croquet.

Snow shack and Lonestar claimed our summer earning,

we ne'er had a thought for our future learning.

Running 'cross pipes too high in the air

just to name the activities of which I'm aware.

I hate to see the end of summer arrive,

but happily report...ALL CHILDREN ALIVE!!

Playing Catch-Up

I am definitely WAY behind on the blog. Not that life is so incredibly exciting, but the reality is that summer is more than half over. So, here is what I like to refer to as the "quick and dirty" way to catch up. Here are the top ten things that have happened recently.

1. Kalinee turned 15. June 30, 2010

For most, this is a landmark that signifies the securing of one's learners permit to drive. Needless to say, for Kalinee, the voice of reason whispers..."give the girl a little more time to OBSERVE the whole driving process." She will figure it all out someday. . . but let's just say that day will not be tomorrow!!

Also, for the record, may I say that Kalinee is "the life of the party," "the joy of the family," "the crazy, fun, carefree goofy girl" and, of course, "the bona fide genius!" (She just can't DRIVE!!)

2. Chandler turned 22. July 3, 2010

Man, does that sound old!! What a monumental day! It is, after all, the first birthday in the "20's" that he has been able to celebrate at home. Needless to say, he was not at home. He went to San Diego with friends. Dang! Can't say that I blame him. There was no cake. No candles. No pictures. No party. But he got to do exactly what he wanted and that is the sign of growing up. Right?!!

3. Haley returned home from Africa. July 4, 2010

I love the way that life experiences shape us into who we are. Haley is forever changed - not in any creepy, strange or even noticeable way. But she has seen, felt, and understood life in a completely different way. Her life perspective is altered, and her eternities will be filled with joyful reunions.

4. Easton has put 1000 miles on his scooter. July 15, 2010

Oh, the summer before your senior year!! It is definitely THE LIFE!! He, along with a brigade of friends, has scootered his way across the valley this summer. He has met girls from all over, spent his summer earnings on "SNOW SHACK" and "LONE STAR," and had numerous late night fires in every canyon. (Did I forget to mention, he also dyed his hair black.) Oh the joys of friends, freedom and fun. Next year at this time he will be experiencing the indescribable joys of receiving a mission call!!

5. Teagan is a "night game" maniac.

My baby is a cool "almost 6th grader." He spends every night playing night games with friends. Al and I make our nightly walk through the neighborhood waiting for him to finally come home with us. It is the summer of air soft wars, hide and seek, kick the can, and soccer. It is the age of swimming at the pool, trying to get a tan, not noticing the girls but hoping that they notice you. It is the year when you know just enough to enjoy life and not too much to be stressed about it!!

6. Kali changed soccer teams. July 2, 2010

Oh the agony!! and the ecstasy. The buckets of tears have been shed and the sleepless, worrisome nights have been spent. Finally, all is well again. Kali learned that "soccer is soccer," and "friends are friends." She has managed to make a break from a group of girls that she loves and still maintain valuable friendships. She has discovered the joy of the game like never before. We love the lessons learned on the field. Soccer may be "only a game" but the experiences while playing are life.

7. We have a "Full House!"

It's a good thing that we kind-of like each other because we definitely can not get away from each other. There is more STUFF than the house can hold. The good news is that all the PEOPLE actually fit. There are too many cars in the drive way, too much junk in the garage, too many clothes for the closets, and too many laundry baskets in the laundry room. Nevertheless, we are all back home at the same time. When Chandler left on a mission, I thought it would never be the same again. I was right!! It is not the same, but we are all back home. Did I ever mention how much I love a FULL HOUSE?? I don't know anything about cards, but I will take a full house anytime!

8. We said a painful and tearful Good-bye to the Dixon's. July 10, 2010

There is really only one word to describe good-byes. It is a word that I hate. One that I do not allow in my own house. It comes from the teenage vernacular, and I always say that its use shows lack of a better vocabulary. But... in some cases, it just fits. Saying good-bye. . .SUCKS! The Dixon's are in Italy for two years. We are sure they will bring joy to many lives and influence others in ways they will never know. One thing for certain...They will be MISSED!!!

9. Al is losing weight, working out and serving on the High Council.

Now, there are three things that do not necessarily go together! Except in the sense that I think they are all note-worthy. Al has lost close to 15 pounds, and we are walking every night. He is even visiting the gym on occasion. He has made it known that he will NEVER run with me, but I have grown to love the evening walks even more. It is usually just the two of us - oh, yes, and the dog, an occasional child, a bike, skateboard, etc.

10. I am getting older, fatter and slower;

But...I just keep running. I am certain that it looks like I am barely moving as I "jog"along the side of the road. I don't care. I am determined to keep moving even if the pace has slowed. I am also determined to run at least one more marathon after my 50th birthday - which, by the way, is coming faster than I care to admit!! I love the summer mornings when I can run every day. I love being hot and sweaty and not showering until the yard work and the housework are done.