Don't Think About it!

Al turns 50 today . . . and, for the record, he IS older than I am! Truthfully, not by much, but at this point in life, every month counts! I can't believe that another year has gone by.

The Christmas season was fabulous this year.

We actually made it to Temple Square before the frigid weather set in.

We had our annual dessert night which I love.

Even the annual Tucker family photo on Christmas Eve...

and the Hansen Family Gifts From the Heart events were fairly stress free.

Only one little thought in the back of my mind put an occasional damper on my Christmas spirit - - - next year at this time Easton will be on a mission.

I just kept pushing the thought aside and telling myself, "Don't think about it!" But, let's be honest, Christmas is simply not the same when family members are missing! And that is true of any family member.

The Dixon's were in Italy this Christmas and they were greatly missed!

There is something that each family member brings to the party, and without them, it is simply not the same!

I must say, having a missionary is a little different. There is an added measure of the spirit in the home and an increased sensitivity for the Savior in the heart! There is an indescribable closeness to Jesus Christ that comes in no other way than in sharing your son or daughter with Him in spreading his great work.

I know I am getting old because every year there are fewer and fewer things that I really care about. I have little concern for many of the things that I used to spend all my time worrying about.

I don't fret about how my children look or what they wear. I don't give a thought to how worn out my kitchen floor is or how dirty the basement carpet might be. I have accepted the fact that the laundry will never be clean and that there is not enough room in our house for everything to be in its place.

I don't care if there are any Christmas presents - just Christmas memories.

I know I will never be a gourmet cook, but I hope that our dinner hours will always be sweet!

I still hate the cold but would rather be out in it where my children are than in the warm house!

I will never have a mansion but I hope my home with always be filled with friends and family.

It Really is SPOOKY!!

It really is SPOOKY how fast time flies! Thursday I attended my last elementary school Halloween parade as a parent. I realized (while waiting for the sixth grade to 'bring up the rear" in the parade) how much I love the little things that make my life complete!

I love seeing little ones in costume. I treasure the excitement that the holidays bring (especially for children). I live for traditions! I even appreciate routinely hanging out surrounded by "Kids" (young and old) and listening to their adventures.

I recognize that the stories change as the years go by. I enjoy the tales of missionary experience as much as I smile at the gossip of sixth grade romance. There are rare moments when life seems to appear before me in almost full circle (all that's missing are the sweet little grandchildren that I expect in the future), and I feel complete joy!

Last night was Halloween - well, not exactly - but it was the annual Halloween celebration. (Since the 31st falls on a Sunday this year.) I will always love having people drop by to eat, visit and enjoy with us. The process of getting ready for such an event, however, nearly always puts me just about over the edge. I claim to love fixing food, decorating, and creating an atmosphere - which I do! It is unfortunate that I cannot seem to do it with any sense of ease. I still live under the complete misconception that any form of perfection will actually be achieved in this lifetime - and that includes the state of cleanliness and preparation in my home. Nonetheless, when the people arrive, I finally don't really care that things are not perfectly in order.

My children have lived their lives with a "do-it-yourselfer." I guess it's not a bad thing that they have become all that they know. Friday was filled with cutting, painting and creating. The champion procratinators in the family finished the job on Saturday, just in time to leave for their Halloween parties. The remarkable think is that the outcomes are amazingly clever and look pretty great!

Kalinee and a couple of friends decided to be the three little pigs. They went to a party in Draper where they danced, ate, played, ate, watched movies, ate and had a great time.

Chandler and his group made themselves into a "Barrel of Monkey's."

They enjoyed a two-night celebration. One

in Salt Lake at a dance party. The next in Logan at the "Howl" at Utah State. It is good to see 22 year-old boys cutting, sewing (OK, I did the sewing) and making barrels.

Haley went to a Halloween party in Logan on Friday night dressed as referee.

She and Kalinee spent the day painting a white T-shirt with black stripes. Then on Saturday she had her whole gang of old friends over at the house.

They are finally coming back from their missions, and she is so happy to have her "friends back."

What a pleasure to see them all back laughing and talking as if no time had passed at all - not older, really, just better!!

Easton and his "band of brothers" always come up with some bare-chested themed costume.

This year it was the construction crew! Their boots and vests accentuated an already pretty good looking bunch of boys. They attended a party where, as usual, they do not go unnoticed and do not leave un-taunted!

Teagan showed up for soup night at our house with a herd of about 12 friends! Initially, the plan was that the gang would all be World Cup soccer players. The costume outcome was varied and diverse but all looked great and had a fun time. They left here to go to a Halloween party where they enjoyed more food and a scary Halloween movie!

When I was of the age of having children, I would have taken a dozen of them if I could have had them. It was really just a matter of increasing the JOY in life. Now, I am overwhelmed by the world that they encounter on a daily basis.

I worry often, pray more and sleep poorly. I can't imagine the strength of character, power of commitment and the knowledge of the gospel that it takes to get them safely through each day. They do it well! They are certainly not untouched, but they bear the scars of battles well-fought!

It Only Gets Better!

How well I remember the days of serving corn dogs to Easton and his posse of friends on the back deck or fixing mini tea party sandwiches for Kalinee and her playmates.

I thought they were "the best of times." I remember anxiously awaiting the return of little elementary school children and thinking that there was nothing better than being sooo busy! I was wrong.

I have spent the past few years trying to get used to having adult children under my roof. I have agonized and complained about my lack of control. I have lamented my short, interrupted nights and my chaotic and dirty bathrooms.

What I have neglected to recognize is the untold joy of being surrounded by really GREAT people. They are not perfect - but they are perfectly enjoyable.

Easton turned 18 this past month.

That makes three legal adult children in the family. What it really means is that I am getting old. Easton has the most diverse and unique group of friends of any of our children.

They are varied in their beliefs, their backgrounds, their ethnicity and their hobbies. Some play football, while others play the guitar.

Some snowboard and others ski. It is a potpourri of great personalities. Having them around makes our life and home rich with conversation and perspective.

I love hearing them plan for upcoming dances, watching them prepare for the next football game and witnessing their crazy fun spontaneous adventures.

Chandler is Alan in every way.

He is a true entrepreneur. He doesn't have a 'conventional' job but has his hand in so many things.

He is running a photo booth business, putting together dance parties, selling 'stuff' and coming up with a new idea every day.

In the midst of all that creative energy there is a practical and hard-working individual who is excelling in school.

He is carefully and thoughtfully mastering his college math class (after not taking any Math for about 6 years).

I wish that I could bottle the happiness, wittiness, zest for life and quirkiness that is Kalinee Hansen.

She makes me laugh. From a rousing rendition of "Rain is a Good Thing" to a rap version of whatever rappers rap about, Kalinee makes life seem like a party.

She breezes through school and bounces from one social group to another.

"Don't worry, be happy" appears to be her motto. Even a season-ending injury in her first Varsity soccer season at the high school has not set her back much. She bounds out the door on her "air cast" with a bag full of clothing layers to keep her warm while she WATCHES practice.

"I like where I am in my life right now!"

There were days in the past when I would have paid big money to hear those words come out of Haley's mouth. Luckily, I didn't have to pay a cent.

She has worked through her uncertainties and opportunities. She has forged ahead with the typical Haley approach. She has become involved, met new friends, joined new groups and shared her personality. The outcome is as it always has been - a whirlwind life filled with fun, friends and options.

Teagan has the most important job of all - he keeps me young!

We have a great time riding to school together, and I sincerely love his company whenever I can get it. He still likes to go to the store with MOM- the smart child knows that there is always something in it for him.

Teagan is so very good. He wants to please, never wants to get in trouble or do anything wrong. His goodness is refreshing and inspiring.

This weekend Al and I will have been married for 24 years. It doesn't seem that long, but the adventures that have colored those years are plentiful.

I don't believe in marital 'bliss." What I do believe is that the moments in life that have been both blissful and challenging have been made better because we have each other.

Things As They Are and As They Should Be

There is a familiar song that says, "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got!" I have never been one who could live by that motto.

I am forever looking for ways to change my surroundings. I get bored with the same old furniture, the same old decorations, the same old pictures, pillows, throws and rugs.

Even more discouraging is the fact that day after day I am overwhelmed by the same old dirt - dust bunnies on the stairs, sticky goo on the kitchen floor, grass from cleats, stacks of backpacks, piles of shoes, electrical chargers and computers left in chairs, on floors and on beds, and mountains of laundry.

I can't even face the mess that is found in the bathrooms - make-up on the counter, toothpaste in the sink, Q-tips, hair elastics, bobby pins and scraps of pre-wrap on the back of the toilet. It is my world within the four walls of my own home. I try not to let the "stuff" take over the house. But, frankly, I am out-numbered. I can only "shovel" so fast.

It is probably for this reason that each Friday when I go to the temple, I have the urge to ask if I can just move in! I love a sense of order.

Everything in it's place. No dust, no dirt, no one's stuff lying around. Not to mention the pure pleasure of quiet solitude.

Clearly, there is no way I can stay at the temple permanently. So, usually I find myself back at home for a good Friday filled with cleaning.

It is certainly no secret that I hate the winter! Actually, it is not the winter itself that I hate. It is the cold! I know that as soon as the temperature drops, I will spend the next several months never feeling warm.

The first cool fall mornings put me into a complete tailspin. However, along with the crispness of the air and the chill of the frosty ground, comes the opportunity for a welcome change of surroundings.

I love to pull out the fall decorations. I get excited to refill the candy jars with caramels and candy corn.

I relish the idea of scattering decorative acorns around the house.

Even more refreshing is the opportunity to clean out the flower beds and pile up the pumpkins in the wheel barrel near the front door.

After a good Friday cleaning, I can actually walk through the front door and breath in the fresh scent of Pine-sol and feel happy. I like my house when it is clean.

I love knowing the blinds have been dusted and the tables have been shined. Life is good when the carpets are vacuumed and the hardwood floors are mopped. Steaming the bathrooms makes me feel like I have actually accomplished something, even though the effects are short-lived. And, perhaps most fulfilling of all is the thought that all of the stacks of clothes are not visible. There are those rare and fleeting moments when things around the house are actually "as they should be."