"Do Over," Please

I am not ashamed to admit that there is more than one instance in my life when I would have liked to have the option of activating a "Do Over." Like, for example, the time when I wore a gold lame' lace skirt to the ward Christmas Party, or the time I purchased a poof-skirt dress to wear to a formal company occasion. Not all of my "do over" faux pas involve poor wardrobe choices. There are countless times when I have said stupid things or simply been awkwardly conspicuous in social settings. Then, of course, there are the numerous events that really might have made a difference in my life if I could exercise a "do over." Those experiences I choose to keep to myself and quietly wonder if my neglect, fear, stubbornness or defiance might have drastically changed my life or someone else's. Most recently my desire for a "do over" involves an event that I had awaited for two long years. My oldest son returned from his LDS mission just a couple of short weeks ago. (It is amazing how fast the weeks go when they are home and how slow they go when they are away!) Needless to say, I had anticipated his return with great excitement. I made every possible preparation I could think of. I cleaned house, bought all his favorite foods, hung banners, balloons and ribbons, made posters for the airport and painted his bedroom.

Our family isn't always the most prompt, but we made special efforts to arrive at the airport early. I checked the arrival list, perused the arrival gate and staked out a conspicuous place at the bottom of the escalator. The arrival time approached . . . no change on the board. The sign continued to read "On Time." I paced back and forth wondering why the Grandparents were uncharacteristically late. Then the call came on Al's cell phone. It was the grandparents, who were not late at all. They were watching as my son arrived at the terminal. . . Terminal 1!! We were anxiously awaiting his arrival in Terminal 2. Sometimes I wish we could just have one "do over" in life. I am certain that I would have used it right then!! I am sure that in some future defining moment the mission return will seem somewhat insignificant. But at present it has been the most looked forward to event of my life.

I have to confess that I tend to be somewhat of the queen of unrealistic expectations. However, having the oldest son back in the house really is great. Missing his airport arrival has not overshadowed the joy of hearing him bound up the stairs with cracking ankles or watching him wrestle his brothers and sisters to the ground. It certainly has not diminished the pleasure of an unexpected hug or the flash of his winning smile. In every way that I anticipated, having him home is the best! I just wish I could have been there to see him arrive!!