"Fear Not"

It is a well known fact that I am a sappy, naive, over-emotional female. I have always been this way. In my elementary school years I earned the nickname "Niagara Falls" (for crying all the time), and in High School I was referred to as "the innocent child" (because I rarely understood suggestive jokes). Becoming a mother has only increased the sensitive tendency towards sappiness! My kids are repeatedly remarking, "Mom doesn't know what that means," and there are many good laughs at my expense. I don't care most of the time. I have plenty of other things to worry about. Most recently on my mind is the impending departure of yet another missionary son.

People sometimes ask, "Do you think it will be easier this time?" May I say, emphatically, "NO!" Already I am dreading the heartbreaking adjustment that I know is inevitable following another tearful 'good-bye.' Sometimes I just look at Easton and wonder what we will do for entertainment after he is gone.

Sunday afternoon was our stake Standards Night fireside. Easton was something less than thrilled to go. Nevertheless, he is a young man bound by duty - he feels compelled to do what is right! It is a quality that I appreciate greatly.

I sat next to him through the entire fireside without much thought or emotion. Then it was time for the closing song. The youth are well acquainted with the seminary theme song written by one of the teachers at Jordan. It is called "Fear Not." The words were posted on a screen so that all of us could sing it, but truthfully I have never heard a group of youth sing with more reverence and conviction - it is a song they love!! The girls sing the opening verse and the boys join in on the second verse. The last two lines are:

Help me to find my way

Give me thy peace

Then the young men sing the words of one of my favorite hymns,

Fear not I am with thee,

Oh, be not dismayed

For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.

I'll strengthen thee, help thee and cause thee to stand,

Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

It's not often that I get the chance to hear my 18 year-old son sing. If I do hear him, it is usually a popular rap tune that I would prefer not to hear. So, when I heard him singing those words with such conviction, I was completely overcome. I know that he has known fear in his life. Even more, I know that he knows where to turn for help when he feels fear. He has become a powerful example of faith in my life. His influence as a missionary is sure to be great.

Easton has become the most delightful person to have around. He is funny, happy and clever. His friends, life and personality add excitement and joy to our home. We laugh at his crazy hairdos, are in awe at his physique, find joy in his antics.

Just last week he got asked to the Sweethearts dance with 50 plus goldfish. What a great time we have watching him live his life! He will be greatly missed. . . and I will be true to my sappy reputation - and shed many tears!!